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Dearest Family, 

True Intimacy is a 3 - 5 day initiatory experience and workshop for couples and singles on how to both heal and awaken through the practice of embodied sacred intimacy, relationship and Tantric ritual.

This retreat was born out of deeply felt need to bring the worlds of both Tantra, relationship therapy and deep inner work together into one coherent path for the sake of not only healing but simultaneously walking the spiritual path in relationship. 

With the rising popularity of Tantra in our world today there are many teachings on how to go beyond the personality in relationship and love-making, yet unhealed trauma will still exist as contraction in the body- no matter how deep we go on that path.   When we experience tendencies towards closure and triggers that go unprocessed, it won't allow us to touch a sense of true embodied safety, openness and depth with our partners.

In this retreat we will not only explore how to awaken to the spiritual dimension of our being through relationship and love-making but also how to use our innate masculine and feminine gifts to consciously heal each others nervous systems, and truly see and feel one another.

Practically, we will dive deep into inner child wounding and learn how our unmet childhood needs are unconsciously driving who we're attracted to, perpetuate our incoherent relationship patterns and how we can use embodied intimacy practice to transform those patterns of closure into openness, healing, and love. We will learn communication tools that will help create a foundation of safety and empathy upon which deeper states of intimacy and consciousness can arise.

Men and women will learn how to embody their deepest masculine and feminine gifts and how to use them powerfully as a way to amplify love, openness and healing in their partners. We will also perform traditional Tantric rituals every evening as a way to deeply honor and worship the masculine and feminine in all of us and the union of spirit beyond duality. 

4 days of intimacy, healing, depth and love. 

Pillars of Our Work 


Embodied Practice


Relationship Therapy

Shadow Work

We will explore and experience what it means to truly embody our most powerful masc/fem qualities, our most vulnerable emotions and psychological shadows as a way to clear charges, create depth, openness, transparency and evoke the kind of love we've always wanted in our partners.

We will use traditional Tantric rituals, meditations and practices as a way to awaken to the essence of who we are, control our sexual energy for the purpose of amplifying love and worship each other as expressions of the sacred masculine and feminine.

We use practical, embodied and proven modalities of relationship therapy and psychotherapy that support the healing of trauma and childhood wounding, harmonize communication and that give couples the tools do inner healing work individually as well as together.  

We explore the hidden, disconnected and undesirable parts of our psyche and learn how to embody and integrate them in ourselves, in our relationships, and in our love making in a healthy and safe way so that no part of us is left unacknowledged.

What you will learn

  • To communicate in a way that takes care of each other’s nervous systems without making each other wrong for how you’re feeling.

  • To understand the source of your emotional triggers in relationships and how to heal them.


  • To express your needs and boundaries while simultaneously honoring your partners without abandoning either of your hearts. 

  • The pillars of Tantric sexuality. 

  • To release traumatic and emotional charges in an embodied and safe way with one another. 

  • To identify your core childhood wound, how it shows up in your relationship, and how to work towards healing it together as opposed to re-traumatizing each other unconsciously. 

  • To walk the spiritual path in relationships by using romantic love as a way to awaken the essence of who you are. 

  • To embody your innate masculine and feminine gifts as a way to awaken, heal the nervous system and amplify the arc of sexual polarity in relationships. 

  • To perform traditional Tantric rituals at home as a way to open to the spiritual dimension of your being.


Wren & Jack, from England

"True Intimacy is without a doubt the most profound, healing and transformational workshop we have ever attended.

We were taught tools for conflict resolution that go beyond the theoretical and burst our hearts so wide open that we can now hold ourselves and each other in an ocean of love and compassion. This ability to live from the heart has the power to dissolve conflict and return us both to the divinity of our love. All of a sudden, the need to be “right” or hold grudges dissolves. This quote comes to mind:

“Outside of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there”

The fusion of psychological theory, embodiment practices, tantra and spiritual philosophy makes for the most profound healing experience that fills in all of the gaps  where other modalities are lacking. It is truly WHOLEistic: you come away with a sense of wholeness, union and deep inner knowing.

Thanks to the course we now know the most intimate parts of ourselves and each other and how our traumas show up in relationship. We were given a road map of such deep inner knowing that it went beyond any therapy either of us have received.

Ian and Vale are EXPERT space holders. They not only created a beautiful, sacred space but they also have an incredible capacity for holding and guiding people through raw, vulnerable moments as well as trauma in a way that looks effortless but is evidently the result of years of study and application.

Ian and Vale are the true embodiment of their teachings and their love is divine. They were such a source of inspiration to us that we are now continuing to work one-to-one with them so that we too can evolve into the embodiment of true intimacy

"Ian and Valentina’s True Intimacy retreat was without exaggeration the most profound experience of my life.


I have been on a deep healing journey for many years but what they led us through in a mere 4 days exceeded all expectations. The love and care they have for all participants and the arc of the workshop was truly transformative and I am forever grateful. Healing my heart was the most important thing I have ever done and I feel truly free for the first time in my life."

Nick, from the United States

Lian, from the Netherlands

"I felt reborn after the retreat with a very clear vision and feeling on what love means to me.


Also, after the first week I crashed down. Even though it was really hard, I knew it was a chance to let love in on a deeper level. After a few days of fighting against it, I could surrender and let love in. There are no words to describe this richness I can experience inside of myself now... I'm so grateful for your profound way of teaching and I would love to attend another one later on. As a psychologist coming from a lot of science, I got fascinated with spirituality years ago and you guys again proved me why. Life really is a miracle and you guys are so extremely capable of letting people experience that so that they not only can remind themself who they are, but also use tools to keep on doing this themselves. You two are a gift!"



Ian Wilkes 

Transformational Coach

and Mentor

Ian is a men's work facilitator and coach, couples intimacy coach, breathwork and trauma release facilitator, kambô practitioner and yoga/meditation teacher.

In 2012, Ian left his life as a night club promoter and hotel manager in New York City on a spontaneous longing for meaning and depth.

Ian then spent 10 years and continuing in deep practice and study of ancient spiritual traditions and healing arts around the world. From living in ashrams in India, to Buddhist monasteries in Myanmar, to being an apprentice to an Ayahuasca shaman in the Amazon to studying with masters of modern healing modalities, to spending months in silent retreats, his longing for truth lead him to experience life changing healing and profound experiences of truth. 

Because of his deep curiosity and openness to all angles of healing and spiritual awakening he studied and immersed himself deeply in many paths and modalities including Yoga, meditation, trauma release, psychotherapy, inner child work, Tantra, relationship therapy, plant medicine, shadow work, group therapy and men's work.      


Ian now combines his vast knowledge of all these modalities and the experience of his personal healing and awakening journey to skillfully meet individuals and groups where they are to provide a holistic and tangible path to the inner work. 

Vale .jpeg

Valentina Cannavo

Tantra, Yoga and Meditation Teacher

Valentina is is yoga/meditation and Tantra teacher with over 10 years of teaching and intensive practice experience.  

In her early 20's she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a disease which is deemed incurable by western medicine standards.  Through the deep fire of her heart, her unwavering dedication to the spiritual path and an aspiration to heal herself she spent months in deep practice, including long periods of fasting, extensive dark retreats, and other intensive yogic disciplines.  Through her persistence and dedication, her symptoms of the disease began to lessen until they completely disappeared, a miracle by western medical thinking.

She now shares her experience and journey with other women who suffer from MS and teaches yoga, meditation, feminine embodiment work, and Tantra from that place of profound depth and dedication to the teachings.

Valentina is currently one of the senior pre-board members and teachers at the world renowned Hridaya Yoga centers in Lyon France and Mazunte Mexico. She coordinates and teaches many of their top programs and retreats and is one the most highly respected and senior teacher of Tantric Ritual in the community. 

Upcoming Retreats and Workshops

September 20th to 23rd // Hridaya Yoga, Longeval, France

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