Ian Wilkes | Transformational Coach and Mentor

DEVOTED TO THE HEALING
AND AWAKENING OF
THE HUMAN SOUL.

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30% OFF ALL SPRING 2025 ONLINE COURSESAVAILABLE UNTIL JANUARY 10th

WELCOME TO MY COACHING!

You're here in this moment because there is some level of yearning in your heart for love, freedom or both. Maybe you've felt your whole life like you don't fit in, like you don't belong or that life in itself is not trustable or safe. Maybe you've had a really tough childhood, maybe you've chased your dreams to no avail, maybe you've tried therapy, maybe you consider yourself spiritual or have had a practice of some kind for many years but still find yourself in waves of depression, irritability, thinking your not good enough, struggling in relationships and so on. Maybe you've tried to digest the infinite amount of messages and content from coaches, therapists influencers, spiritual teachers and feel even more confused about how to walk the path of healing either alone or in relationship.

First of all you're not alone in that and you've come to the right place. Secondly, the good news is that every internal struggle or experience of deep emotional pain you have can be completely resolved and brought to harmony without the use of any prescription drugs or anything needing to change in your outside environment no matter how unpleasant it may be.

THERE IS ALWAYS SOME MADNESS IN LOVE. BUT THERE IS ALSO ALWAYS SOME REASON IN MADNESS.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

I'm not here to sell you big packages of sessions with me and send you in an endless loop of speaking about your history and giving you some affirmations to repeat and journaling work, I'm not a talk therapist or regular life coach. I'm here to work with you as little as possible, yet directly and precisely. I'm here to take you to the root of all the stories and structures that cause you pain and bring you true and lasting resolution and peace in your being.

The nuances of our traumas and delusion are all different and yet the nature of the psychology behind them is exactly the same. Once you can pierce through the untruth of your mind through inquiry and bring light to the root of its structures, release the tension your body has built from the years of belief in those structures, integrate and embody the insights from this process, and maintain the direct experience of knowing who you truly are beyond all of it, love and freedom will be revealed as your natural state of being.

I work with couples, men, women and anyone who is experiencing internal struggle. The problems are many, the medicine is one and we walk the path together.

WAYS TO JOURNEY HOME TOGETHER

Relational Healing

e path of relationship is one of the most beautiful and also challenging ways in our which our soul longs to heal and remember it's true nature. Relationship brings our deepest most vulnerable childhood wounds and traumas to the surface and with the right tools, practices, understandings and proper guidance, relationship can go from the greatest difficulty you experience in life, to your greatest joy and path to ultimate freedom.

Men's Work

Mature brotherhood and heart centered awakened masculine leadership is a crucial missing piece in our culture today. Men of this age feel inadequate, isolated, confused or the need to prove something at the cost of their own and others well being.

The epidemic of masculine suffering and confusion is at an all time high and is in direct correlation to environmental destruction and the highest divorce rate in history.

Silent Retreats

The basis and direction of any truly transformative or authentic healing work must at some point acknowledge the ground of consciousness, pure being itself.

This understanding is confirmed in the poems and teachings of every truly awakened spiritual master or authentic spiritual lineage. It is the very purpose and end result of all my work, the revelation of the simplicity and freedom of pure beingness that you already are.

1:1 MENTORSHIP

This is the most intimate and effective way for us to work together. In this space we go straight the root of your core wounds, truama and tendencies. I help you bring a complete healing to your being not only at the level of the psyche but somatically at the level of the body, nervous system and spiritual dimension of your being.

If you are ready to truly transform your experience of life from struggle, confusion, pain, and feeling unworthy into harmony, peace and internal freedom, reach out and let's get started.

CLIENT'S APPRECIATION

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CONNECT WITH ME ON INSTAGRAM

~ "Be Right or Be Love" ~

I know, this one is really hard, and trust me, I struggled with this for so many years in relationships and lost many a great love to do this tendency.

This is one of the hardest things to pierce through, especially when you're in your most triggered, hurt, and contracted state. But this is the work, and those moments are the answer to your hearts deepest prayer.

If you find yourself hammering your view onto your partner while not embracing and invalidating their perspective no matter how crazy it sounds, leave the hope for their body and heart to be open to you behind.

Expecting to receive what you are not willing to give is a sure way to live a life and attract relationships that bring only dissatisfaction and disappointment.

It's not wrong to stand your ground, but if your ground is the only ground in existence and you blame your partner for being the one whose "closed all the time" you're simply completely out of integrity with yourself, and with reality.

When you're in denial of how your actions, reactions and lack of honoring yourself are a major part in creating an undesirable reality and culture in your relationships, that karma and those realities will multiply endlessly until you awaken to truth, humble yourself and learn to take 100% responsibility for your side of the street.

The patterns you fear and dislike the most will repeat until you learn that the only way out is to rise and become the very love you wish to receive.

Only when we learn to take full responsibility for our wounds, our behavior, our emotions, our truth, our own awakening and give what we long to recieve, can we earn the feathers to truly call another being forward.

If you wish to learn this way of the sacred work through the ceremony of your relationship, my partner and I have a full 3 month course to support couples who are ready to heal together called The Art of True Intimacy.

Registration for our spring cohort is now open and space is limited. Click the link in my bio if you're ready and to learn more 🙏🏻

#sacredintimacy #relationshiptherapy #intimacycoach #relationshipcoach #relationshipcourse

May the endless love, fire, courage, commitment, conviction, and presence of the Heart of Yeshua permeate our entire being on this sacred day.

May we find the stillness to connect with the essence of Christ, which is none other than the light of our own being.

May that revelation bring tears of faith and longing to our eyes. May it soften us to our core, to feel all that needs to be felt to bring healing and forgiveness to all areas of Heart, lives, communities, and this Earth.

May we stop pretending that we are not that, that we are not that light, that we are not the very love we seek, that we are not that Everlasting presence and unconditional kindness that looks through the eyes of all sentient beings.

All praises honor, gratitude, and reverence to Mother Mary for her endless grace, courage, and compassion. Praise, honor, and gratitude to Joseph for his faith, love, and for hearing the call. May they're commitment to truth and love live in our hearts forever and give us the strength to surrender to the Heart of the King.

May the light of what happened on this day and what it truly means find its way into our hearts again. May the light of Jesús heal our relationships, heal our souls, and guide us back into the kingdom of heaven that dwells within..

"I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me." - John 17:20 - 23

With all the love, many blessings on your journey and the journey of us all back to the Heart ❤️

Amen 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

#chistmas #jesus #mothermaryprayforus #mothermary #jesús #jesuschrist #loveofchrist #guadeloupe #maryimmaculate #lourdes #fatima #corazonsagrado #sacredheartofjesus

~ FREE Emboided Masterclass for Couples ~
Healing the Core Wound in Relationship

My partner Valentina and I are very excited to announce a new free masterclass specifically for couples on how to start the healing process of the core wound behind all disconnection in relationship.

In this masterclass we will help you identify the root cause of what's holding you back from a base level of harmony in your relationship, causing patterns of disconnection and struggle and show you a clear path and structure on how to create a culture of safety and Love in your relationship.

This masterclass is also for couples who may have a harmonious relationship but are looking to dive even deeper into intimacy with one another and open to the next level of healing and awakening together.

On the call, we will do an embodied intimacy practice showing you experiencially how to support one another in healing your core wounds. We'll follow this with a step by step process of how to create a culture of emotional safety and healing in your relationship, and ending with a live Q&A with Valentina and I.

Relationship is one of the most profound and fortunate opportunities for your deepest healing and spiritual maturation if it can be seen in this way. We hope to have some of you with us on this journey as we work to re define the culture of relationship on this Earth.

To register for free or to learn more, click the LINK IN BIO.

Also, the call will be recorded and sent to everyone who registers. We look forward to meeting some of you there !

With Love ❤️
Ian and Valentina

~ Follow the Deeper Call ~

The wake up call sometimes looks like an injury of some kind, crippling addiction, the pain of mediocrity, depression, a break up from a deep love, illness, a subtle internal discomfort or a multitude of other phenomenon that break the heart, mind or body.

When you're unconsciously moving from the untrue, from fear, thinking pleasure will manifest your prayer for freedom, or that avoiding discomfort will alleviate your suffering, you're dreaming.

There are far too many men taking the route of comfort or doubting their true calling, afraid of the call of the wild, not trusting fully in their heart, placing their trust in manifestation. We were trained this way as it supports the collective dream of eternal happiness through material wealth, which has still to this day, never once been attained. See it, know it.

No matter how much we spin there looking, the heart will ache more and more until the rock bottom is felt.

Listen brothers, listen for the call, the call to rise, the call to heal, the call to take responsibility for the pain the feminine feels from being silenced, the pain our forefathers could not process, they live in our heart and they long for your freedom.

Mediocrity will never bring that freedom. Monetary pleasure will never fulfill your soul. Learn to sit alone, to sit in the dark, feel your pain, let its knife shape you into perfection, until nothing is left, nothing but the emptiness of the pure One shining through your eyes, in all it's glory forever and ever, Amen.

#menswork #maturemasculinity #sacredmasculinity #kingwarriormagicianlover #menshealth #divinemasculine #menscoach #sacredbrotherhood #mensgroup #lifecoaching #innerguidance #innerpeace #innerstrength #sacredheart

~ From Patterns to Presence ~

If we want the kind of deep relationship that truly meets and fulfills that call of the soul to heal on its deepest levels, we need to become very aware of when we start meeting only at the level of patterns.

Oftentimes, relationships can become a shallow play of relating at the level of fear. We hide parts of ourselves to avoid feeling a certain way, to be loved, or to try to change our partners. When we stay in that hiding a true intimacy can never manifest, and parts of ourselves start to come up with very convincing stories to justify separation instead of being vulnerable and moving towards connection.

The thing is, when we first fell in love, our center of regard was not on trying to be right, changing our partners, or changing ourselves. For the most part, we were dissolved in love. There was much less of us there in terms of our personality and our need to be right.

When the relationship matures and daily life and habitual patterns creep in, it becomes paramount that we consciously remember to shift away from pattern to pattern relating and deepen in presence to presence relating. This means truly taking the time to be with one another in silence and to practice as often as possible, connecting to the silent depth of your partner. The conciousness in them that never speaks. The part of them you didn't fully realize you were so connected to in the beginning, the always everpresent spirit that you both are.

In that depth, the peace, the love, and the true meeting is always available. It's what your relationship is calling you to remember that there is only one of you ❤️

#sacredintimacy #relationshiptherapy #intimacycoach #tantrateacher #relationshipcoach #divinefeminine #menswork #maturemasculinity #sacredmasculinity #kingwarriormagicianlover #menshealth #divinemasculine #menscoach #sacredbrotherhood #mensgroup #lifecoach #holisticlifecoach #shadowwork #meditation

~ The One Step ~

We all want peace, we all long for happiness, we all pray for love, and yet the question remains, how? No matter what I do, it never seems to come, and when it does, it never seems to stay. What to do?

The essential step is so simple, has been said so many times, and yet if we're still suffering in that deep ground shaking way, it means we're still not listening.

Even those of you who've been on the spiritual path for many years and have heard this many times, this becomes boring for the mind and the thought "I know this already" arises so you will skip past a post like this and continue your searching. But did you really integrate it? Are you still following and being taken over completely by thought and emotion? Are you still seeking for the next teacher? The next training? The next peak experience that will bring you to freedom at some point in the future?

I hope it's clear. In no way am I saying not to feel, and if you follow my teaching, you can see that feeling and evoking has tremendous emphasis and is essential. I'm saying not to believe. Not to believe in what comes and what goes. Rather to take the most valuable currency and resource you have, your attention, and place it on the source from which your trouble arises and see that your essence is an unfathamable peace and silence .

It's important, however, you don't take my word for it. Look for yourself and come to know it directly. Knowledge at the level of mind will never bring true freedom, yet it's openness to explore this as direct experience can support very much.

Simply inquire: when I look within for the deepest part of myself, beyond anything that can arise or fall away, what do I find? What are the qualities of the absolute deepest corner of who you truly are when you close your eyes and sincerely look within? Feel the answer and let how you live be guided by that discovery.

#meditation #selfinquiry #lifecoach #intimacycoach #relationshipcoach #relationshiptherapy #menswork #advaitavedanta #menscoach

~Listening to Her Call for Healing ~

Here's the deal, in most cases in our time, we no longer need each other for survival in relationship. On the whole, in the west, most have the resources to make it on their own.

Thats why if things aren't going well in relationship and there's not an attunement to the inner work, the awareness to mature and the longing to awaken, there's no reason to stay in a constant state of struggle with someone who's not willing to rise and do their work.

Because most people are still not fully aware of this and the massive lack of understanding in the importance of taking responsibility for ourselves, we see the highest divorce rates in the history of humanity.

Now for my brothers: often times the feminine being (not always) of the relationship will awaken to this understanding first and start to push for the relationship and you to move towards healing, maturing and awakening.

The majority of the time, her complaints, lack of openness toward you, and overall longing for more is coming from not feeling you present, aware, or in integrity with yourself or with her.

In her core, she is reacting to your level of consciousness. She will do and say everything to test you until you start to heal and remember who you truly are and get the help you need to make that happen.

There are two things you can do when the feminine wind starts to blow in the direction of evolving together if you want the relationship to last and keep it's spark.

1. Catch the wind, feel what she's pointing to and start to be proactive and play an active role in moving the relationship towards depth and healing.

2. If you have no idea what you're doing or how to move in that space, LISTEN TO HER, while of course, keeping your own discernment and authenticity. She can feel you deeper than you can feel yourelf, and her deepest longing is also for your freedom. Try not to drag your feet, listen and support her in that movement, and at least take leadership in the logistical apsects.

With love family and reach out in a DM for a free relationship consultation 🙏🏻

#relationalhealing #relationshipcoach #tantra #tantricrelationships #menscoach #menswork

~ The 7 Pillars (Part 2 of 2) ~

In this continuation of the 7 pillars for true intimacy and deep healing in relationship, we explore some more subtle nuances of the inner work and what relationship is truly and ultimately about.

We can start to see relationship as the temple in which each individual must go through the initiation of relinquishing all that that keeps them separate from their beloved and separate from truth on all levels. It's a journey that requires faith, perseverance, wisdom, and a deep trust in love.

Not every relationship will make it, but what's important is that you make it in peace, love, and integrity. We can not control what will happen, but you always have the capacity to self reflect, humble yourself and move from truth.

Relationship may not always be pleasant, but that is different than the peace you can ALWAYS feel inside no matter what happens when you take full responsibility for the reality you've played a part in creating and when you consciously know you're prioritizing love over all else.

If you're struggling in relationship or are doing well but would like to go deeper, feel free to book a call with me use the link in my bio or send me a DM.

May these pointers support you in your relationship journey and bring light where it is most needed ❤️

#relationalhealing #relationshiptherapy #reltionshipgoals
#menscoach #menswork #shadowwork #tantra #tantricrelationships #sacredsexuality #sacredmasculinity #relationshipcoach

~ I Need Attention, I Need Freedom ~

Here we take a look at our "old classics" in relationship, give me more attention, or give me more space. If my partner is not giving me attention in the exact way I want it, they don't love me. If I enter a relationship too deeply, I'll lose my freedom.

Here's the deal, both of these are illusions, and therelationship is the vehicle helping you to pierce through them.

That deep pain you feel when your partner isn't close enough, and the fear of being too needy is a true gift. Why? Becuase it's showing you that you haven't actually taken the time to cultivate a true intimacy with yourself. More true than "my partner doesn't love me" is "I don't love myself" and maybe even "I dont love them," becuase if you did fully in that triggered moment, wouldn't you be embracing them as they are or setting a boundary to remove yourself from an unhealthy dynamic?

The pain of wanting love but also feeling trapped by a relationship is also, again, a true gift. It's showing you that you accidentally equate true freedom with having/doing whatever you want when you want it, not realizing that no one in the history of humanity ever found true freedom this way. There is a fear that if you share ttomuch about your feelings, your partner may be even more involved and critical of your life. You want to be held, but you're not giving anyone the opportunity to truly hold you and then blaming them for it. You then create distance from the fear of losing your false sense of freedom, which leaves you always in the end again, dissatisfied and wanting itimacy.

At the end of the day if you're not in integrity by embodying the opposite of what your accusing your partner of or taking the time to truly inquire into the validity of your thoughts, the cycle continues.

The first step is awareness and responsibility. See your dillusion by questioning your thoughts. Is it true that I don't feel loved because my partner is distant, or is it because I'm distant from myself? Is it true that it's the relationship that takes my freedom? Or is it because I'm not expressing myself yet pretending that I'm fine and all is good?

Start to see, start to inquire ❤️

~ The 7 Fundamental Pillars ~

To create the foundation for a relationship that truly heals and unravels the patterns and karmic knots of the human soul, there are several fundamental understandings one must have.

We live in a day and age where we no longer need each other in relationship for survival. This fact puts us in a position where we either take responsibility for our healing or we watch pur patterns and projections sabotage relationship after relationship.

I've compiled here what I see as 7 fundamental pillars needed for a relationship to truly work, and not only just function, but actual fulfill the root longing of your heart for being in relationship in the first place.

Here are the first 3 🙏🏻

If you'd like a free relationship consultation, feel free to reach out via DM or book a call with me using the link in my bio.

#relationshipcoach #tantra #menswork #menscoach #relationshiptherapy #sacredsexuality #sacredintimacy #relationalhealing

~ What She Needs to Trust ~

The feminine's trust and the openness of her body to you is always going to wax and wain just like the cycles of the moon itself. Her openess and level of trust is simply a direct and real time feedback to the level of consciousness/depth from which you're operating, the meticulous awareness of your movements both physically and mentally and the sharpness of your integrity in the moment.

Her closure is not personal to you, it is simply part of the way life has chosen to remember itself through both of you. When you are believing in thoughts, not willing to look, or not sharing transparently from the fear of rejection, you are condensed into the untrue. When that happens, life itself, which is your partner, will respond to that by feeling discomfort. It means the consciousness that you are is for a moment accidentally believing itself to be something less than infinite, less than love, less than free.

When she closes, it's a gift to you, it's the weather vain pointing in the direction of your freedom. Are you defending an old belief because it's kept you safe? Are you justifying separation because you fear the pain that intimacy can bring? Are you judging her for not embracing you whilst you simultaneously do the same?

Ask these questions, come into integrity within, take the time to see what's really happening, take full responsibility for the moment, become curious instead of defensive and watch the freedom you've been looking for unfold naturally within your own being.

#relationshipcoach #menscoach #menswork #tantra #sacredintimacy #sacredsexuality #relationshiptherapy #polarity #meditation #shadowwork

~ Hearing the Call ~

This is a simple reminder when facing a new transition or something that used to light your heart up but does no longer. It can be very scary to offer ourselves to the divine call within. The irrational expression of our Heart's longing for God, for something deeper, more pure, closer to the core than we've ever been, can really shake a lot.

I remember my first glimpses of becoming aware of this depth within and the insatiable hunger to go deeper, to become more and more intimate with being. I had to let go of many comforts, security, and who I thought I was in a major way. It was terrifying, and yet there was no doubt in the heart. It became more important to serve and know truth than to live itself. In other words, it felt better to perish than to live a life inauthentically moving in any other direction than towards love in the deepest way I knew it and to be in service to that only.

The next step, the one that feels like it will disappoint many or rather one that many won't understand, it's hard, but somewhere deep down you know it's right, especially when it's not about money or yourself ultimately. Take a deep look at that one, feel, what is the most true to me? What is my deepest understanding of love and how it wants to move through me? Listen to that whisper, trust in it's guidance and surround yourself with the wise.

#sacredintimacy #menscoach #menswork #relationshipcoach #nonduality #yoga #lifecoach #lifecoaching #innerguidance #innerpeace #innerstrength #sacredbrotherhood #sacredmasculinity

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DEVOTED TO THE HEALING AND AWAKENING OF THE HUMAN SOUL.

FEATURED IN:

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HOLIDAY SALE

WELCOME TO MY COACHING!

THERE IS ALWAYS SOME MADNESS IN LOVE. BUT THERE IS ALSO ALWAYS SOME REASON IN MADNESS.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

WAYS TO JOURNEY HOME TOGETHER

Relational Healing

Men's Work

Silent Retreats

1:1 MENTORSHIP

CLIENT'S APPRECIATION

NAME HERE

NAME HERE

CONNECT WITH ME ON INSTAGRAM

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DEVOTED TO THE HEALING
AND AWAKENING OF
THE HUMAN SOUL.